Honest PA announcer
 

I heard today the following announcement

"We apologise that the train has been delayed by 20 minutes. This is due to a crewe member's late arrival at work this morning."

I've never heard one anything like that before.

It was many years ago while on an excursion to Edinburgh we waited and waited and waited upon the platform for our train back down South. Eventually we heard over the PA that 'We are sorry for the delay but we cannot start the rengine'. We ourselves thought it was funny unlike those who were not on a day out. Eventally we did leave being hauled by a decidely temperemental engine as it stopped at Newcastle and needed a fitter to hit it with an hammer and again at Doncaster. Memory does not now recall just how late we got back to Peterborough but we and our mini tribe thought it was a fun day out although we did feel sorry for those who might have lost their connections.
Can't afford train rides these days so have to travel by car which is nowhere near as exciting nor unpredictable.
John (G)

manual announcements are usually fairly standard but are great fun at times , which is probably why it is going automatic these days.

I do remember a few years back an announcer said

" stand back from the edge of platform 5 a fast train is approaching and you don't want to get sucked off "

I caught the 10.56 train from Shelford (just south of Cambridge) to Liverpool Street this morning and just after leaving Harlow Town, heading for Roydon and the next booked stop, the on-train system announced: "The next station stop will be Harlow Town." Two minutes later, it said :"We are now approaching Roydon." :)

Was once on an MML service where the onboard crew were unable to make announcements without laughing, took them a few attempts to get to the end of the announcements :D .

A PA announcer at Stockport station also had that problem once.

My job is as an station announcer at Ashford International for Southeastern trains and I frequently make manual announcements. The standard announcements about trains dividing or attaching are no problem for me but anything slighty unusual Im bu**ered and frequently get it wrong! Also I have noticed that if I have to do a customer announcement, the name to be used is usually unpronouncable!

Threadbear

Welcome to the forum Threadbear.
Paul.

Hello Threadbear and welcome to the forum.
Mistakes or not I'm sure that your manual announcements sound a lot more sincere than the artificial electronic ones that most stations seem to have.

"The mystery excursion to Blackpool will leave from platform 4"

I remember well an occasion 15 years or so ago when we were told by driver our train into London would be delayed due to 'sheep on the line'. There was much incredulity as you can imagine when we were a couple of miles inside the M25 which is very urban. The Driver said over the tannoy that he didn't believe it either and took the micky out of his own company for covering up for a points failure or similar. After a long delay when we got to the place of the trouble, there was indeed a small flock of sheep on the rails about 3-400 yards outside of Liverpool street station. Never did find out where they cam from. :confused:

The funniest thing i ever heard was on board a Virgin CrossCountry serivce arriving at Derby when the gaurd made an announcement similar to this

"We are now approaching Derby 5minutes early, we apologize for any inconvience this may cause"

This was at a time VXC's reliability was very poor had everyone laughing

Barking!
 

There was a guy at Barking Station a few years ago, when the old slam doors were still on the LTS line, with some serious sardonic wit.

My favourite, frequently heard on a Friday afternoon was:

"Please stand behind the yellow line as the train approaches, otherwise you may be hit by a door that some idiot has opened and this may well spoil your weekend".