Thread: Hooray, at last
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Old 7th February 2022, 00:46
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aussiesteve aussiesteve is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Bathurst
Posts: 577
G'day BW,
Doing 15 mph so that the person who had fallen out of the previous train could climb into yours as you crawled past ?
I think it was the comedian Dave Allen who had a joke about the bloke wanting to get off a train at a station where it no longer stopped.
Sorry Sir, says the tailgunner, I cannot stop the train, but it does go slower through the platform.
The best I can do is open the carriage door and let you hold onto the handrail.
As we enter the platform, you commence running in the air so that when your feet touch the platform you don't fall over.
This is agreed and the bloke is running holding on as they enter the platform.
The bloke then lets go of the handrail and keeps running along the platform.
He has made it, when all of a sudden another door opens and an arm reaches out and grabs him dragging him into that carriage.
YOU'RE lucky mate, this train don't stop here any more, says that passenger.
The first smog hollow squirts with automatic doors were the Sputniks, intro from 1956.
But, the door system was not much chop, plus when car sets got chopped up and cars moved around, they ended up with non auto door cars.
Our squirt doors generally flapped in the breeze up til the end the 80s.
Idiots had the game of standing in the open doorways and when approaching a non stopper platform, grab the outside handrail.
Then jump out and run along the platform to jump back in before the end of that platform.
They musta espied that Dave Allen joke.
I had witnessed this caper numerous times and just shook me head.
The Blue Mountains Uboats (single decker BUDD design built by Comeng) had inward swinging doors which were NEVER closed during summer.
Them urbans would be chockers with cattle, many standing in the vestibules and up to them open doors.
NO annoying PA announcements on them, no PA, no aircon, they did have LPG heaters for winter time.
Smog hollow didn't suffer much from the Train Surfing rage, as did our Mexico.
Not much space between the top of a smog hollow double decker and the stuff dangling in the atmosphere.
Our Mexicans have single deckers.
I think this caper originated in Brasil.
But, I do remember reports of idiots being cooked on the rooves of our squirts.
Cattle inside smelling overdun hamburger.
Graffiti idiots would climb on the rear ledge of a smog hollow squirt end doorway and start spraying.
The tailgunner being in the middle cab of an 8 car set to be able to squiz the entire train on curved platforms.
The squirt driver would discover the artwork when changing ends and not being able to squiz the track clearly.
Twice, I was involved with episodes of freighters allegedly hitting people on the track.
Both occurring during the nite time.
Needing to fetch the offending loco into the shed to go over the inspection pit.
The second after relieving the incoming crew at Clarence coal loader balloon loop.
I squizzed the mess under the loco during the first caper.
And, I had to go hunting for remains with me torch at Clarence on the second caper.
Yes, I found remains dangling off the second loco, and reported such to TC.
NONE on the front LOCO, begged train control.
NUP, only the second.
OK then no problem, he walked into the train, the train didn't hit him.
No need to call the coppers, spruiked TC.
I was allowed to depart and work to Inner Harbour.
Thankfully, most of them remains woulda blown off during the journey.
Though, I wasn't that eager to go near the second loco when we arrived at Inner Harbour.
Such is life, as our Ned said.
Steve.
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